Did you know the girl you openly judged last night struggles every single day with self confidence?
Did you know that girl is battling ongoing depression?
Did you know that girl is struggling everyday to find a purpose, even a smidge of worth?
Did you know that girl hides in her house and has no friends here?
Did you know that girl grew up feeling like she didn't belong?
Did you know that she feels emotions so deep that it's nearly paralyzing sometimes?
Did you know that she cries countless times everyday?
Did you know that she suffers in silence everyday, for the chronic pains and disease her body carries?
Did you know that girl gives tirelessly and selflessly to those around her?
Did you know that girl has been hurt by so many, yet still has faith good people still exist?
Did you know that girl has tried taking her life before?
And did you know while you went on probably not giving her another thought/laugh, that she's cried hours since running into you last night? That she's been frozen in a moment looking at herself through your eyes and words she just witnessed. That despite all her heart knows to be true, her head just won't listen right now. She is trapped, trying to fight the battle in her head from the thoughtless actions you took on a stranger. One day this experience will be a victory step for her, but for now...she just feels less than she did before.
I pray you wake up one day, very soon!! Words hurt...they run deep. Judging someone is a sign of your own self. And doing it all while raising a kid, who was sitting right in the cart you pushed...well, that's raising another human being to be just like you. She'll grow up to believe there's only one 'perfect' image of a person. She'll grow up calling herself fat when she gains 2lbs. She'll grow up thinking 'skinny' is the same as being healthy. She'll grow up to be the same judgy, unkind person you are...UNLESS you break the cycle. PLEASE break the cycle for your little girls' future!! The world needs less judgy people, and a lot more people who will pay strangers compliments.
I've been a fashion retailer, selling LuLaRoe, for almost 2 months now. Seriously?! Me? For 2 months, I've been selling clothes to the most beautiful customers and trying to learn all things fashion for even longer. Since June I've spent endless hours watching training videos and learning from my sponsor, coaches, and mentors. And yet, I still don't feel adequately educated yet. I want to learn all that I can! From fabrics and how they're made, to color and pattern mixing, and how styles wear on different body types. It's so much fun to learn something new!! Especially when you're fashionably challenged turned LuLaRoe believer.
But what I didn't expect was that my depression battle would come full circle again on me, while living out this new adventure...an adventure that I've been so excited for. Some days it's all I can do to work my brand new business even a single minute. I wake up, knowing I need to do this and should be doing that too...but instead I'm just frozen. My brain won't engage and work alongside my heart. Other days, I'm so absorbed in my new business that I forget my responsibilities...like taking out meat for dinner so I can feed my LuLaBob. Or forgetting to start cooking in the late afternoon and bombing dinner when there's no longer anytime left to cook without eating at 10pm. I used to be a huge believer in schedules and having a plan. Now, schedules leave me stressing and feeling like a failure over and over when I don't make it. I know there's a balance there somewhere...where I can still be the wife I've always been, a business owner, and still have time for my hobbies (sewing and crochet mostly) that help me zen. Just got to find it!
So what's one to do? Advice says to just get up and fake it until I make it. Put one foot in front of the other and just do it. To focus on the positive. To be confident. To be focused. To put in effort. To encourage others. I am nearly an expert at doing this for everyone around me...just not for myself. So this will be a new experience...
Three simple, but life changing reasons…
1) I fell in love with the clothes and how amazing they make me feel. LuLaRoe has truly renewed my confidence in matters I knew I had lost or let diminish. AND it has given me new confidence in matters I didn’t even realize I was missing. It has seriously changed my life! Many of my friends and family won't really know all of this, and I'm sorry in advance if it hurts your feelings that I didn't share this with you. My husband and I came down on orders unexpectedly last spring and I fell into an instant depression. We had been living in Washington state for the past 5yrs and loved everything about being there. The weather was nearly perfect year round for my liking. The breathtaking scenery brought me such peace, with so many perfect self developing and content moments. I made lifelong friendships that turned into true sisterhoods. I spent endless hours volunteering and enjoying so many wonderful experiences. And for the first time since voyaging out into the military world more than a decade ago, we felt like we had found a real home and not just a temporary spot to play house in. Then came the surprise orders, pulling us very quickly (we moved within 6wks) from my comfortable and safe place....forced to journey to North Carolina. To the heat, humidity, hurricanes, never ending sun, and just about everything opposite of Washington. I cried for days, and often still do honestly. No matter how much I try to shake it and believe there's a reason for this painful season, I still keep finding myself often screaming to please save me from this place. Months go by when you're battling depression, trying to climb out of the whole you've sunken into. You put on a happy face each day because it's how you're supposed to help yourself, faking it until you become it right?! And before you know it, you've lost so much of yourself and quit doing things that set your soul on fire. Obligations are about the only thing you force yourself to keep doing and you scream on the inside the entire time. It's an awful season to be in, and it's not my first rodeo.
Fast forward to last November, my beautiful friend Mindy (now sponsor) whom I admire so much, launches her new business...she's going to start selling LuLaRoe. I had no idea what it was and fashion, HA, that's the last thing I'm looking for right now when I can't even find the will to brush my hair and get out of pajamas most days. Still, in support of my friend, I followed along with her journey the first few months, watching her grow more and more and just having such and amazing happiness spilling out of her that she shares with her shopping tribe. Her friends, family, and customers all sharing beautiful pictures of themselves, smiling and so excited for their new clothing pieces. Still though, I kept telling myself, that LuLaRoe stuff isn't for me. It's for smaller women, who can fit in it and actually look good in them. Then at Thanksgiving, I noticed that my gorgeous cousin was wearing a carly dress. We talked all about LuLaRoe and I began to wonder a little bit more about it. Then in late January, Mindy launched valentines leggings and they were absolutely adorable and I fell in love (pun intended)! So I claimed a pair and decided what the heck, lets give this a chance. I trust and believe in my friend. I trust my cousin. Lets do this. Mindy didn't bill me for them, she gifted them to me for loving on her family for so many years. I was blown away; this was a generous and unexpected surprise. My new and first LuLaRoe arrived in the sweetest packaging. I took one look at those leggings and broke down bawling. There was no way I was going to fit inside of those itty bitty teeny tiny gorgeously soft beauties. A week passed, filled with so much negative self talk and ugly feelings towards myself, I felt the lowest I can ever remember feeling. I was absolutely awful, downright horrible to myself. And then I tried them. They fit! They felt amazing! They were everything everyone had been saying for months.
And so the obsession began. I began ordering more pieces (a lot of pieces), loving each one more than the last. I hosted an online party and my family and friends went crazy for them just like me. Each day passing after trying on those leggings, and the more LuLaRoe I purchased and wore, I found a spark inside me I had been missing always. I enjoy waking up each day and getting dressed. My clothes before never made me feel that way (pajamas were enough). I look in the mirror and find myself smiling more and more as time goes by. I actually believe my sweet husband now (who's always told me) when he tells me I'm beautiful or sexy. I wake up each day, getting more and more excited for what the future holds again. I am finding me, discovering things I never had before, and regaining so much I had lost. Seriously guys....LuLaRoe has been life changing for me! So it all began with LOVE. A loving and generous consultant (my friend) gifting me a pair of heart leggings. She has no idea (until reading this now) just how much she's done for me! I love you always my gorgeous Mindy and I can never THANK YOU enough!!!
And now...one of my biggest WHY's for joining the LuLaRoe family is to share and bring that same amazing feeling to all the women I can. I want each and every person I serve to love themselves inside and out, and be proud of the skin they're in. We are all imperfectly perfect and stunningly beautiful! We are enough!
2) I fell completely in love with the brand and what they stand for. LuLaRoe’s mission statement is “Where through fashion we create freedom, serve others and strengthen families. A place where lives are being blessed and dreams achieved through love, purpose, confidence, trust and growth.” They mean every word of this, and they strive each day to get better and better at living this more than the day before. LuLaRoe is a family. Founded on family and love. Most of the family is involved in the business, and many of the styles are even named after family members. They are the real deal, forever blended family goal. From step kids, to adoptive kids, to even exchange students. The support and love they have for each other, and the heart of this company, is inspiring. You hear it, you witness it, you believe in yourself a little more after each weekly training and home office call. They stand behind each and everyone of their 100,000+ retailers, wanting to help support our dreams and WHYs. It's just a blessing to be apart of!
3) To help support my family and our dreams. BJ works very hard to provide for us. We want for nothing and always have everything we need. He's sacrificed a lot, been through unimaginable circumstances already in his military career, and still he keeps trying to be better than the day before. He's truly a prince, my forever prince, and I'm so very thankful for him each day. Still though, I've wanted for some time to find something that I could give, something that would ignite my soul like service to our great country does for him. Something I can move from duty station to duty station, sharing with others, spreading love on a much wider platform than ever before. LuLaRoe has woven all my little dreams into a great big beautiful blanket that I can begin to share with as many people as I can possibly reach.
I can’t think of a better way to spend my days than to be a part of a movement that’s all about giving to others, loving one another, and helping each and every person you serve to find their inner confidence and love the person they are inside and out…all while looking fabulous in the most comfortable and uniquely gorgeous clothing.
Blessings until next time,
This morning as I was making my love his breakfast burritos for the coming week, I couldn't help but be incredibly thankful to be doing this chore today. I have a million (and one) things I need to be doing in preparation for my LuLaRoe launch soon, but it can wait until I finish doing something for my bestfriend, my true north. I'm blessed to be able to cook for him. I'm blessed to wake up this morning and there he laid breathing, happy, and soundly sleeping.
Our aunt buried her love just this past Thursday and I've been thinking about all the little things that I would miss if I lost BJ. My heart breaks for Bea and I can't even begin to imagine the emptiness she's feeling. What it must feel like after Charlie's passing, to return back to their home they shared for so long. To see him everywhere and in everything, and all she has now is the memories they made and the promise of forever again one day.
It got me to thinking about the things I would miss if BJ passes before me; the little things that I sometimes take for granted after nearly 12yrs of marriage. I'd miss the little notes he leaves me everywhere. The laundry he leaves on the floor in the spare bedroom each night (don't worry he picks it up the next morning). I'd miss the hundreds and hundreds of times he's watched McClintock and still laughs at all the same parts. Or that, just like a child will do, he'll watch the same movie over and over for awhile...quoting it word for word driving me crazy (currently that movie is Moana). I'd miss how incredibly excited he gets when he has a parachute jump for the day. I'd miss how much he loves to go get the mail, junk and all. I'd miss how he puts toothpaste on my toothbrush every morning and leaves it for me. Or how he comes home from work each night and finishes cooking dinner with me. We love to spend time together in the kitchen, trying new recipes while chatting about anything and everything. Most of all though, I'd just miss him and the way he makes me smile, laugh, feel safe and loved, and occasionally roll my eyes or sprout a new grey hair. I'm so grateful that I share this amazing, crazy, unpredictable, sometimes messy life with him and I can't imagine what it would be like if one day he wasn't here.
We didn't know BJ's Uncle Charlie was sick until just a short bit before he passed. He was an extraordinary man who shared many things in common with BJ. Charlie served and retired from the Armed Forces. He loved his family fiercely and always had a good memory or story to share. He was dedicated, hard working, and overcame a lot of struggles in his earlier years. It was an honor to know him and he will be missed immensely.
If I could share just one more thought with ya'll...it would be to hold on tight to your family and friends you love. Cherish them. Love them. Spend time with them no matter how busy your life is. Forgive them quickly when they mess up (we all do). And above all us, be thankful each and everyday you get to share with them. One day they'll be gone and you'll want all the memories your heart can possibly hold to help you through the lonely days without them.
Blessings Until Next Time,
From the day (nearly a decade ago) my sweet husband and I moved away from our hometown to begin our journey as a military family, blogging is something I've wanted to start. I kept telling myself though that my life was to boring, so who would read it? Or that there's already so many other military wives out there already blogging about their adventures, why would someone want to read another one? I have used every excuse I could come up with to avoid writing, ignoring the passion inside me to share my journey. So why start now? Why start blogging after nearly 12yrs of marriage, more than a decade into my husbands military service, and nearly a decade of living away from 'home'? Why Now?
Because recently I have stepped out into one of the biggest personal journeys to date. On April 24, 2017, I signed up to join LuLaRoe's amazing mission and become a LuLaRoe Fashion Consultant. This is HUGE for me! I'm introverted, less than fashionable, don't have a trendy bone in my body, social media challenged, and far from the body image that should probably be a fashion consultant. But actually those are some of the exact reasons why I have chosen to take this leap. I can not wait to share with you the journey of how I found LuLaRoe, what it's done for me, and why I decided to join the movement.
But this blog won't be just about LuLaRoe. This blog is about sharing my entire journey with you; from everyday life, marriage, loving a military man, cooking, crafting, learning photography, serving others, and all my amazing family and friends who inspire me. I'm truly over the moon excited about this new chapter and I'm so grateful you've joined me!
Blessings Until Next Time,